


The Doctor Study: C-PTSD & BPD

by cronaisawriter



Series: The Doctor Study [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Borderline Personality Disorder, Character Study, Mental Health Issues, Neurodiversity, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Time War (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2019-10-01 02:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17235815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cronaisawriter/pseuds/cronaisawriter
Summary: An Analysis of the Doctor through the view of them having Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)Crossposted on myfandomrambles on tumblr





	1. 9th Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> General CW for violence, suicidal ideation, self-injury, war, grief, genocide & descriptions of anxiety responses

An analysis of The Doctor as having Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) along with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).  
If you read my ADHD & Autistic Doctor analysis you will notice some symptom overlap mostly with impulsivity, but I think you can't pull apart where the system comes from. I chose to put C-PTSD and BPD as one post because symptom overlap is strong, and the disorders are highly comorbid. 

**9th Doctor:**

9 struggles greatly with post-traumatic symptoms as he is coming off a large trauma in the form of the Time War. He struggles to separate himself from these experiences. This doctor is The Doctor most often pointed out to be traumatized from the experience of the Time War. However, I believe that The Doctor has also quite a few other smaller and larger traumas before and after that The Doctor has had a psyche continuously shaped by trauma for their whole life. However, we see that 9 struggles to break his mind from the mindset he used to survive the trauma in the Time War, he becomes a reactive pacifist.  BPD also shows itself in this regeneration, playing off his trauma greatly. Usually related to trauma and lack of healthy attachments both visible in The Doctor's past. 

 

9 clearly has a favourite person in the form of Rose Tyler Possessive over Rose sometimes to the point of jealousy over other people who give attention namely Mickey and sometimes Jack. ( _ TV: Aliens of London, TV: World War Three, TV: Bing Bang, TV: The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances _ ) 

 

Has a deep need to impress Rose as well as often becoming a bit over-attached. Giving in to his rules about backtracking timelines even telling Rose, “ _ Your wish is my command _ ”(  _ TV: Father’s Day _ )

 

9 splits on Rose multiple times a very common BPD trait. Sometimes more subtly ( _ TV: Rose _ ) But other times to a state of fully splitting on her pushing her father away when he feels a sense of betrayal ( _ TV: Father’s Day _ )

 

He likes to have a sense of being in control which often takes the form of trying to be in charge of the situations he is in. He has a tendency to like to control his whole life but after taking responsibility and control for so many years he has a deep hatred of being out of control. Sometimes causing a bit of a power struggle ( _ TV: Dalek _ ) and takes a slightly comedic stance with Jack who is also used to be the top of a command structure ( _ TV: Boom Town _ ). A darker version is when scene put in the House he crawls the walks like a caged bug before even knowing what is happening ( _ TV: Bad Wolf _ )

 

Experiences identity confusion and dissociation from who he is shown in the way he divorces himself from his whole past ( _ TV: Bad Wolf _ ). Once telling Rose desperately “ _ This is who I am, right here, right now, alright? All that counts is here and now, and this is me _ .” ( _ TV: The End of The World _ ).

 

Switches from Hyper evaluation of himself to a devaluation of himself, an erratic self-concept ( _ TV: Rose, TV: The End of The World, TV: The Unquiet Dead, TV: Bad Wolf _ )

 

Has a tendency to slip back to a mental state congruous a war ( _ TV: Boom Town. TV: Bad Wolf & TV: The Parting of Ways _ ).  This is seen chem he takes charge of soldiers giving commands.“ _ Spread out. Tell the perimeter it's a lockdown. _ ” ( TV: Aliens of London) He needs the stimulation of danger to function.  _ (TV: The Unquiet Dead, TV: Aliens of London _ ) We also see this in the way he finds domesticity hard to deal with unable to adapt to human connection a part of his mind being set in the past and fear of loss. ( _ TV: Aliens of London _ )

 

“ _ Don't worship me - I'd make a very bad god. _ ", Doesn't deny that he has that power amount of power to act as a terrible power, but is, rightfully, afraid of the actions he takes in those situations when he lets himself, a function of his fear around his ability to harm others and devaluation of self. ( _ TV: Boom Town _ )

 

Has harsh rules for himself around violence. Including rules against weapons strong than previous Doctors ( _ TV: The Doctor Dances _ ). A reaction to trauma and used to build an identity around them, to be ‘The Doctor’ he couldn't be in his last regeneration. Another part of this reactive pacifism and guilt combine in his treatment of the Nestene Consciousness ( _ TV: Rose _ ).

 

Experiences strong and erratic emotions. ( _ TV: Rose, TV: The End of The World, TV: Dalek, TV: The Doctor Dances, TV: Bad Wolf _ )  In the iconic scene at the end of  _ TV: The Empty Child  _ two-parter The Doctor’s emotions swing to extreme happiness when he feels for one time nothing went wrong, it’s a powerful moment for him because he is so used to a pattern of losing everyone and everything. We get the beautiful line “ _ Oh, come on. Give me a day like this. Give me this one.” and “Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once, everybody lives!” _

 

In conjunction with strong emotions, he often checks out a dissociative response to block out the emotions ( _ TV: The End of The World, TV: Father’s Day) _ . We see a pretty extreme example when the others seem to distort due to The Doctor emotions around Rose. ( _ TV: Dalek _ ) We see an example of a dissociative episode when Rose is seemingly shot by the Anne Droid he falls down and the world around him becomes blurred and the noise gets far away from a typical dissociative feeling. He is then emotional blank and unreactive for a period of time, till he and Jack think of a way out. ( _ TV: Bad Wolf) _

 

Is able to commit of extreme violence effectively attempting to murder Cassandra and does this with an expression of apathy at the act, his ability to lock down certain emotions [dissociate] he is also using his skill of justification ( _ TV: The End of The World) _ This also appears when Margreet/Blon is attempting to mess with The Doctor and Jack’s heads they both are able to shut down the feelings to some extent and deal with the problem at hand, and the marked difference in their ability to Mickey and Rose is notable ( _ TV: Boom Town _ )

 

Has less of a reaction to death or human reverence lacking a coherent system based around earth or Time Lord Ideals. ( _ TV: The Unquiet Dead _ ). Not only with death but in other cases 9 doesn’t really show a belief system in general. 

 

Suffers from extreme guilt. This leads to him to be easily guilt-tripped and controlled at the mention of the Time War, even when in normal circumstances he might be more discerning of the requests of rift creatures. The Gelth say: “T _ he Time War. The whole universe convulsed. The Time War raged. Invisible to smaller species but devastating to higher forms. Our bodies wasted away _ ” ( _ TV: The Unquiet Dead) _ Strong feeling of guilt often connected hopelessness a very strong example is the interactions 9 has with the Daleks. The Dalek says, “ _ Why do we survive?” The Doctor replies “I don't know _ . “ ( _ TV: Dalek _ )

 

Struggles to make decisions that reflect past wrongs, but ends up being able to act when Harriet Jones is able to assume control allowing The Doctor to feel the responsibility he willing took on but was struggling to complete. The order also was easier to follow as he respected Harriet's ability of compassion   _ (TV: World War Three _ ) He finds himself unable to re-enact using The Moment, even when it would be the only way to actually end the Time War and stop the Daleks. ( _ TV: The Parting of Ways _ )

 

When faced with the stimulus of the Dalek as a very physical reminder of his most recent trauma he has a minor panic episode which quickly morphs to rage the despair and culminating impulsive actions in an attempt to destroy the Dalek. ( _ TV: Dalek _ ) Some  of these triggers manage to throw The Doctor off from his usual rules governing behaviour namely the Daleks ( _ TV: Dalek, TV: Bad Wolf, TV: The Parting of Ways _ )

 

Other people are able to see the pain he is Roses points this out during their fight “ I _ know how sad you are. You'll be back in a minute _ ” ( _ TV: Father’s Day _ ) even if this is out of anger she knows how he reacts, that he's more lonely than he is mad, which is generally true. Margaret/Blon is also able to lock on the dark emotions driving The Doctor’s actions, Saying “ _ Only a killer would know that. Is that right? From what I've seen, your funny little happy go lucky little life leaves devastation in its wake. Always moving on because you dare not look back. _ ” ( _ TV: Boom Town _ )

 

He intentionally puts himself in danger even when he might not have had to actually do “ _ So, I'm going to go up there and blow them up, and I might well die in the process _ ” ( _ TV: Rose  _ ) Willingly puts himself in danger to the point of almost dying  _ (TV: The End of The World, TV: Father’s Day _ ) We see a pretty extreme version of this when the emperor Dalek threatens him. Emperor Dalek says “ _ You are the heathen. You will be exterminated _ .” The Doctor responds “ _ Maybe it's time _ .” He knows he wouldn’t even be able to regenerate but accepts this death easily. ( _ TV: The Parting of Ways _ ). 

 

Impulsivity ( _ TV: Rose, TV: The End of The World,  TV: Father’s Day _ )

 

9 has self-imposed isolation after the Time War, this comes from guilt and I fear to form new bonds after losing so many people beforehand. ( _ TV: Rose _ )

 

Emotionally imprints on inanimate objects an example of this is his Sonic screwdriver ( _ TV: The Doctor Dances _ ).

  
Catastrophization ( _ TV: Rose, TV: The End of The World, TV: Aliens of London/World War Three, TV: The Doctor Dances _ )


	2. 10th Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's look at 10 now!  
> CW: Self-injury, war, genocide, violence, suicidal ideation, suicide, description of anxiety attacks and dissociative episodes

10 is a people person often referred to as one of the more ‘human’ like Doctor. He also has a large amount of loss dealing with having and losing quite a few companions in this regeneration alone. I think the title of most human Doctor can be seen in his relationship to trauma. He attaches to these human aspects, in the beginning, to deal with past trauma, then the most human parts of him are the ones he hides away as those connections cause him to experience loss.

Has a lack of a coherent identity that feels intrinsic. Like most Doctors, he has a strict “martyr” and “hero complex” tending to believe the weight of the universe rests on him it sometimes does, but he feels in all situations. ( _TV: Doomsday, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Smith and Jones, TV: Evolution of The Daleks, TV: Voyage of The Damned. TV: Planet of The Ood, TV: The Sontaran Stratagem, TV: Planet of The Dead, TV: Journey’s End_ ) After exploding the volcano and killing many people we see The Doctor allows himself to totally play god choosing life and death even when he fears doing this, for the good of Donna. We know this stuck with The Doctor as a reminder that even if you fail to save the many small actions still make. ( _TV: The Fires of Pompeii_ )

Connects his identity heavily to the idea of being The Doctor and others perception over anything internal ( _TV: Doomsday, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter_ ). The Doctor struggles to understand who he is, in general, The Doctor becoming a sort of empty title to him. In midnight he can’t even think of a competent lie of who he is to protect himself ( _TV: Midnight_ ).

His strict morality and inflated self-worth are used to create a strong manufactured projected personality to cover his shattered internal sense of self ( _TV: New Earth, TV: School Reunion, TV: Army of Ghosts, TV:42, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter_ ). Shakespeare notices The Doctor’s manufactured personality saying: “ _I'll discover more about you and why this constant performance of yours._ ” ( _TV: The Shakespeare Code_ ). The Doctor even admits to doing it “ _Hardly know her. I was too busy showing off.”_ ( _TV: Gridlock_ ) He acts as though he is the best thing, uses his intelligence as a sort of masking factor and to protect himself. ( _TV: The Sontaran Stratagem_ ). Frustration when people attack his identity he uses as a shield we see this in the episode _TV: Silence in The Library_.

People often try to define The Doctor for himself Latimer says; “ _Because I've seen him. He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun. .. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe. And he’s wonderful_ ” views The Doctor as a god in a sense which is disturbing and terrifying. Recognizing the power and obligation The Doctor as built for himself ( _TV: Family of Blood_ ). The Doctor latches on to these perceptions to fill the gap in his own construct of self.

Has a code of rules. He uses them too often justify his actions, and fuel a very judgmental mindset. ( _TV: Christmas Invasion, TV: New Earth, TV: The Lazarus Experiment_ ). He also uses this as part of his control issues, “ _I'm not fighting. I'm not fighting, as in not hyphen fighting, got it?_ ” ( _TV: Poison Sky_ )

Variable self-worth ( _TV: New Earth, TV: The Girl in The Fireplace, TV: Voyage of The Damned, TV: Forest of The Damned TV: Midnight, TV: The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith_ ) He refers to his own self as a madman ( _TV: Human Nature_ ) An extreme example of this is The Time Lord Victorious accepting the way people make him out to be a god, and reprocess trauma to frame all the loss as okay as something that made him strong, and the death he caused something he had the right to do. Inflating his own ego to hide pain, control life and this causes his and other people's destruction ( _TV: The Waters of Mars_ ).

Tends to be extremely self-destructive. Martha comments on this pattern of behaviour. “ _Yeah. And you'd think it'd get easier. All those things you've been ready to die for. I thought for a moment there you'd finally found something worth living for._ ” ( _TV: The Doctor’s Daughter_ ). He works himself up to dangerous and stupid things based on his hero complex like almost burning out his brain to save others ( _TV: Forest of The Dead_ )

He has disregard for his own life often a reckless disregard for his safety and destructive of himself. We see him even stating his life is too long, and bitterly regarding his immortal life as something of a curse and not a gift ( _TV: The Lazarus Experiment_ ). Will also purposelessly does things that physically hurt them. ( _TV: Evolution of the Daleks, TV:42_ ) Once he electrocutes himself and allows himself to have most of his blood drawn out ( _TV: Smith and Jones_ ). His emotions cause him to act extremely destructive the inability to not let his emotions hurt him up to himself dying without someone to help him rethink and protect himself ( _TV: Turn Left_ ). He kills himself to save Wilfred saying “ _And it's not fair! Oh. Oh. I've lived too long._ ” ( _TV: The End of Time 1/2_ )

10 struggles to express his emotions. 10 can never get out the words to tell Rose how much he cares for her ( _TV: Doomsday, TV: Journey's End_ ). Once he gets close but is stopped by the knowledge he will lose her “ _I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone who you ...I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords_ .” ( _TV: School Reunion_ ). Donna turns this inability to communicate into a way to connect and support each other after he says he’s ‘all right’ after River dies saying “ _Is all right special Time Lord code for really not alright at all? Then the Doctor replies “Why?_ ” and Donna replies “ _Because I'm all right, too._ ” ( _TV: Forest of The Dead_ ).

Highly flamboyant and dramatic as all hell ( _TV Christmas Invasion, TV: New Earth, TV: Fear Her, TV: Gridlock, TV: Runaway Bride, TV: Sontaran Stratagem, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter_ ). Often showing off playing a game to make everyone be impressed, especially wanting adoration of Rose ( _TV: Christmas Invasion_ ) Likes to show off wanting others attention and connection with them and maintain control of what’s going on ( _TV: Silence in The Library/Forest of The Dead, TV: The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith_ ). Sometimes using it to provoke others ( _TV: Journey’s End, TV: Unicorn and The Wasp_ ).

Unlike his direct predecessor,10 tends to over attach to other people craving emotional support throughout the beginning of his regeneration. This is aided by 10 being a better communicator in a semi-shallow but socially conscious way not tending to cause rifts by being ‘too alien’ or distant ( _TV: Christmas Invasion_ ). Even though he searches for a connection in his early years, even then he still experiences fear and confusion of living a normal life ( _TV: Girl in The Fireplace, TV: The Impossible Planet_ ). Attachments are still a struggle can’t get out the words I love you, admitting he much he needs Rose as it makes it harder to lose people ( _TV: Doomsday_ ). Later in the story, we see that an aversion to attachment grows. 10 struggles with the losses he had before and doesn’t want the connection or reminder of family. Though 10 pushes the idea of having a family again. Referring to Jenny as a “biological anomaly” not wanting to form this kind of bond to have the ability to lose again, to be abandoned alone again ( _The Doctor's Daughter_ ).

He has an intense level of connection with Rose. She is his Favourite Person. Even forcing himself to wake up to save her when regenerating ( _TV Christma Invasion_ ) Will even put her ahead of others in a tight situation ( _TV: Tooth and Claw_ ). Can become slightly obsessive with Rose ( _TV: Rise of The Cybermen)._  Jealousy even of a cat when she gives attention ( _TV: Fear Her_ ) He even tried to break rules he usually followed because he needed her “ _Yeah, yeah. But even if I did, I couldn't go back on someone's personal timeline. Apparently._ ” _(TV: The Runaway Bride_ )

Struggles to let people go, fear of abandonment, guilt and the ingrained idea he can be a god. 10 says “ _Feedback the molecule grid. Boost it with the restoration matrix. No, no, no, no, no! Need more phase containment... I can do anything!_ “ ( _TV: Voyage of The Damned_ ) This is also one of the first signs of the Time Lord Victorious. Is tempted to use a powerful object when Finch t into his guilt over things. His level of pain connected to the war and the weight of loos can push through his general abhorrence of the action they are taking. ( _TV: School Reunion_ ). Suffers extreme guilt over past actions “ _By fighting. On the front line. I was there at the fall of Arcadia. Someday I might even come to terms with that. But you lot ran away!_ ” ( _TV: Doomsday_ ). Guilt over his actions driving him to apologise to The Master and experience an inability to toss him out when the things he should be responsible ( _TV: Utopia_ ). We see powerful guilt around his history with the Ood ( _TV: Planet of The Ood_ )

A motif with 10 is his loneliness even surrounded by friends, and his status of the level of power The Doctor has amassed, by virtue of being a time lord and having learned the skills to make the whole world bend at his word. His experiences a strict deep-seated loneliness other people can see. Reinette says; “ _Such a lonely little boy. Lonely then and lonelier now. How can you bear it?_ ” ( _TV: The Girl in The Fireplace)_ This allows him to be able to empathize with others experiencing this ( _TV: Fear Her)._ Martha can tell about his need for attention saying; “ _Sometimes I think he likes me, but sometimes I just think he needs someone with him._ ” ( _TV: Gridlock_ )

This even causes him to try and bring the Master back into being his friend. His need for someone to be able to understand him and guilt about the Time War put 10 in a position that he tries to protect him from even those he hurt. ( _TV: The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords & TV: The End of Time 1/2 _)

He attempts wildly to avoid feeling abandoned. We see this with Martha when she leaves he knows she is staying but acts like maybe it won’t be ( _TV: Last of The Time Lords)_ . 10 makes a copy of River Song rather than let the dead just die ( _TV: Forest of The Dead_ ). We also see this in the speech he gives to Donna when she goes to visit her family _(TV: Sontaran Stratagem_ ). The Doctor is aware that he needs people to not feel alone. Even telling Wilfred “ _She takes care of me._ ” when he asks her to look after Donna which is an acknowledgement of how Donna helps keep him on track and acts as a barrier for his freak-outs and power trips ( _TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Sontaran Stratagem, TV: The Stolen Earth_ )

Uses Self Isolation as protective skill ( _TV: Partners in Crime, TV: Smith and Jones, TV: Planet of the Dead, TV: Journey’s End, TV: Planet of The Dead, TV: The Waters of Mars, TV: The End of Time, TV: The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith_ ). Including working to not form relationships like those he has had before. When faced with the possibility of having traditional family roles again he pushes it away at first, “ _Donna, I've been a father before... I know. I'm just. When I look at her now, I can see them. The hole they left, all the pain that filled it. I just don't know if I can face that every day...But when they died, that part of me died with them. It'll never come back. Not now._ ” ( _TV: The Doctor’s Daughter_ )

Surfers shame and guilt about what he leaves in his wake. Making people end up in pain, breaking up relationships and physically hurt. ( _TV: Partners in Crime, TV: The Sontaran Stratagem, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter_ ) Davros can use this emotional state of The Doctor to try and break him down ( _TV: Journey’s End_ )

10 talks with Wilfred about The Master’s violence, along with his own. “ _And that's how the Master started. It's not like I'm an innocent. I've taken lives. I got worse. I got clever. Manipulated people into taking their own. Sometimes I think a Time Lord lives too long. I can't. I just can't._ ” He is frightened of his power, forced him to deal with everything he has and can be, and guilt over the pain he's caused. This is also part of The Doctor attempting to reject the need to kill The Master and attempting to accept his death. 10 asks the descendants of Joan Redfern asking if she was okay after what happened, his response when asked the same question he can’t answer ( _TV: The End of Time pt 2_ ).

The mind state The Doctor learned to function under to survive everything they've been through is sometimes brought back up when under threats. This results in him slipping into a fighting war mind state ( _TV: Christmas Invasion, TV: Tooth and Claw, TV: Rise of the Cybermen/Age of Steel, TV: Utopia, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter, TV: The Stolen Earth_ ). He puts on a command mode and effect to put over his actions to project importance ( _TV: Fear Her, TV: Daleks in Manhattan_ ). The Doctor falls into a soldier mindset with the earth people even as a human, this past and trauma conditioning even staying when his mind is altered ( _TV: Family of Blood_ ). Jenny sees this part in The Doctor easily. Stating that he was essentially the same as the clones built for war, this hurts The Doctor a lot as this is a fact of himself he fights constantly ( _TV: The Doctor’s Daughter_ ) The Meta-Crisis Doctor is born into this mindset and destroys the whole fleet acting on the ends justify the means thinking pattern. 10 tells Rose he will be a lot like 9 and that she can help him heal and be better. ( _TV: Journey’s End_ ).

The Doctor in general lives within a mental state of constantly being in battle, strong hypervigilance. They forget or maybe never really knew how to function without the danger, violence and struggle and this is evident in 10 or calm down. ( _TV: The Runaway Bride, TV:42, TV: Human Nature/Family of Blood, TV: Journey's End, TV: Planet of The Dead)_ . Rose and The Doctor discuss how The Doctor could function in real life having an extreme level of disconnection from the normal form of existence, his trauma as disconnected him from basic human or even Time Lord ( _TV: The Impossible Planet_ ). Talking with Reinette about the slow path he wonders how money works and fear of how to live a life that way ( _TV: The Girl in The Fireplace_ )

The Doctor has come to hate violence from a place that is no longer [if it ever really was] based on an ideological viewpoint but more of a place of pain and experience. 10 explains this best when he stops others from falling into his fate. He tries to stop Jenny from acting n her violent urges “ _Listen to me. The killing, After a while, it infects you. And once it does, you're never rid of it._ ” ( _TV: The Doctor’s Daughter)_ We see other examples of this in Midnight trying to stop others from acting out, begging them to be good examples of humans ( _TV: Midnight_ ). has a visceral hatred of weapons ( _TV: Army of Ghosts, TV: The Sontaran Stratagem, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter_ ). Antagonistic towards soldiers ( _TV: The Sontaran Stratagem/Poison Sky, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter, TV: Planet of The Dead_ )

Needs to be in control of every situation. Intentionally usurping any power structure ( _TV: Christmas Invasion, Comic: The Lost Dimension Book One, TV: School Reunion, TV: Rise of The Cybermen/Age of Steel, TV: Fear Her, TV: Gridlock, TV: 42, TV: Utopia, TV: Voyage of The Damned, TV: The Sontaran Stratagem/The Poison Sky, TV: Unicorn and The Wasp, TV: Silence In The Library/Forest of The Dead) Acts in charge even when captured (TV: Army of Ghosts, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter, TV: Midnight)_ Is distressed anytime he feels loss of control of himself as well ( _TV: Planet of The Dead & TV: The End of Time 1/2 _).

Has very erratic and strong emotions. Experience his from switching fast between a blank dissociative state, to joy and down to rage. ( _TV: School Reunion, TV: Evolution of The Daleks, TV: The Lazarus Experiment, TV: Last of The Time Lords, TV: Voyage of The Damned, TV: The Poison Sky_ )

10 lives in a kind of heightened emotional and stress level seeming completely on edge for periods of time in his last episodes ( _TV: The Waters of Mars_ ). This is visible when compared to Wilfred and the master. 10 coming off as on edge even when compared to The Master. Visibly on the edge of crying multiple times ( _TV: The End of Time 1/2_ )

Extremely heightened Anger ( _TV: Christmas Invasion, TV: New Earth, TV: School Reunion, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Gridlock, TV: Daleks In Manhattan, TV: Voyage of The Damned, TV: Sontaran Stratagem/The Poison Sky, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter, TV: Silence in the Library/Forest of The Dead, TV: Stolen Earth/Journey's End, TV: The End of Time 1/2_ )

Experiences dissociative episodes. Goes emotionally blank when exposed to reminders of his past and pain. ( _TV: School Reunion, TV: The Girl in The Fireplace, TV: Doomsday, TV: Utopia, TV: The Doctor’s Daughter, TV: Midnight, TV: Journey's end, TV: Planet of The Dead, TV: The End of Time pt 1/2_ ) During his capture by the master appears to go into a dissociative state ( _TV: Last of The Time Lords_ ) Another Example can be seen when he thinks he loses Donna shutting down. River expects this dissociative episode to be a precursor to an outburst as this does happen. 10 manages to pull out okay in the case shutting down his pain and not lashing out. ( _TV: Forest of the Dead_ ). He experiences a dissociative experience with 10 when upon seeing Rose hurt he dissociates and we see the noise and input around him go muddled and his face go slack before he is overtaken by a cold rage. ( _TV: Idiot’s Lantern_ ). In _TV: The Waters of Mars,_  the noise is distorted and scenery becoming blurred as we see 10's face go blank when faced with the reality of what he found himself caught up in.

During _TV: Stolen Earth_ after they lose the Tandocca trail 10 completely closes off the point of not even responding to Donna pleading with him to not give up. During this same episode, we watch her work to comfort and calm down The Doctor when he panics overseeing Davros “ _Doctor, it's all right. We're, we're in the Tardis. We're safe._ ” I think this is a moment is really powerful and strong in showing the way the connection Donna and 10 have is really amazing they support each other at their most vulnerable places. Donna is one of the few characters I think actually recognize his trauma for what it is and meet him where he is at. She doesn't seem him as a perfect hero with great hair, or someone who is too broken, cold powerful or rage-fueled God to need or be worthy of someone addressing their trauma.

Can experience a kind of emotional shut-off. This is a combination of extreme blunted affect, empty emotional feelings, lacks displayed empathy, cold anger and that act is performative control over the situation.10 claims he can bring down Harriet's government when she breaks his code. He walks up to a man’s earpiece, “ _Don't you think she looks tired?_ ” effectively stabbing an ally in the back. ( _TV: Christmas Invasion_ ) With a blank expression basically genocides all of The Racnoss ( _TV: The Runaway Bride_ ). A cold rage overtakes him and he pulls the whole of his anger and ability to act in a calculated way fueled by his anger ( _TV: Family of Blood_ ) His reaction after the deaths on the Titanic is a combination of his cold anger and dissociation ( _TV: Voyage of The Damned_ ). 10 has a cold streak of bitterness even with his deeply caring attitude we see it when he discusses his long life, “ _I'm old enough to know that a longer life isn't always a better one. In the end, you just get tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust. If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you'll end up alone._ ” This passage also links to his loneliness he feels. ( _TV: The Lazarus Experiment)_ . After 10 Breaks down and starts regenerating he sets out for his reward, being able to see his loved ones on last time. During this huge emotional experience, his expression stays cold and empty. ( _TV: The End of Time pt 2_ )

Experiences various forms of breakdowns often combinations of panic, flashbacks, dissociation and rage ( _TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Gridlock, TV: Utopia, TV: Journey’s End, TV: The End of Time part 1/2_ ). An example of this shows when faced with the Daleks saying; “ _No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They survived. They always survive while I lose everything._ ” ( _TV: Daleks in Manhattan_ ). 10 has a breakdown around being unable to handle not saving the day ( _TV: Partners in Crime)._  Starts to freak out when ATMOS starts acting out freezing ( _TV: Sontaran Stratagem/The Poison Sky_ ) Panic Attacks and a manic-like disposition, then his whole body gives out from the stress and he sees the Ood _(TV: The Waters of Mars)._  When Davros starts asking him about the loss we see 10 have flashbacks of people he feels he has hurt, Davros uses this trauma to artfully control The Doctor ( _TV: Journey’s End_ ). 10 years many good people die unable to pull away he has intense flashbacks ( _TV: The Waters of Mars_ ). He also has nightmares, ( _TV: Human Nature_ ) Sometimes the emotions goes outwards and sometimes inwards but 10 always struggles to put it anywhere but some kind of destruction. ( _TV: School Reunion, TV: Army of Ghosts, TV: The Voyage of The Damned_ ).

He freezes and is unable to quickly act in Pompeii when faced with a task similar to decisions he has had to make during the war and before. We see a steady decrease inability to easily make moral decisions. By here he can’t even philosophise on moral quandaries that four was able to ponder in details ( _TV: The First of Pompeii_ )

Has poor impulse control _(TV: Girl in The Fireplace, TV: Rise of The Cyberman, TV: The Impossible Planet, TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Planet of The Ood, TV: The Sontaran Stratagem, TV: Unicorn and The Wasp, TV: The end of Time_ ) This go into actions that could easily kill him ( _TV: The Satan Pit, TV: Gridlock, TV: The The Fires of Pompeii, TV: The Poison Sky, TV: The Next Doctor, TV: Forest of The Dead, TV: Planet of The Dead_ ). This reaches a noticeably high point to directly bating the Daleks to murder him ( _TV: Evolution of The Daleks_ ).

Tries to deny the trauma dismissing his own mistakes and hiding the bad things done around him ( _TV: School Reunion_ ). Talks around his issues unable to not remember and thinks about them, but can’t address them ( _TV: The Runaway Bride, TV: Voyage of The Damned_ ) Lies about the timelords to try and pretend nothing ever happened, not having to face the trauma all over again ( _TV: Gridlock_ ) Hides his history in general talking around his issues. He brushes Jack’ pain away when 10 was the cause of it ( _TV: Utopia)_ Donna points out his lack of communication on anything important saying “ _I'm sorry. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? You talk all the time, but you don't say anything_ ” ( _TV: The Doctor’s Daughter_ )

Though once he does start talking about his trauma, he starts rambling and can’t seem to stop ( _TV: Gridlock, TV: The Last of The Timelords_ )

10 has a lacking belief system, disconnected from any traditional system even lacking faith in his own set of rules he attempts to live by,10 says; “ _Except that implies in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods, and out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing, just one thing, I believe in her_ .”( _TV: The Satan Pit_ ). This also relates to his kind of over-reliance on Rose. He also no longer believes in happy ever after and has an extreme feeling of being jaded and bitter ( _TV: Fear Her, TV: The Lazarus Experiment, TV: Planet of the Ood, TV: Planet of the Dead, TV: The End of Time_ )

Has a habit of Catastrophizing ( _TV: Rise of The Cyberman, TV: Gridlock, TV: Voyage of The Damned, TV: Partners in Crime, TV: The Sontaran Stratagem/The Poison Sky)_

Experiences splitting on his friends. We see an extreme act of splitting on Harriet Jones ( _TV: Christmas Invasion_ ). The 10th Doctor splits son Martha a few times during their relationship ( _TV: Smith and Jones, TV: The Lazarus Experiment, TV: The Sontaran Stratagem_ ) He does the same with Christina de Souza quickly switching between the urge to be friends and likes her ending up using her all the way away. ( _TV: Planet of The Dead_ )

When he becomes human, he doesn’t consider many common human aspects of life. Most notably not planning for him to fall in love. His alienation from common people, and even his own people who do form romantic bonds on average, he himself was married on his own planet. But his alienation from the people and fear around love leave him not considering it could happen ( _TV: Human Nature/Family of Blood_ ). When another man’s mind becomes embedded in The Doctor’s memories we see the effect they have made the man more impulsive and highly dramatic. He ends up mirroring The Doctors coping mechanisms denial, showing off, controlling the situation, playing the hero and getting into danger. Much as with the real Doctor, the title has become shorthand for an idea of a person versus an actual name for a person ( _TV: The Next Doctor_ ).

10 is very variable in the way he deals with his continual trauma. I also think people either seem to act as if his actions are only connected to the loss of rose, or the time war, instead of recognizing the complex nature of his trauma that shapes The Doctor inevitably in every generation. People ten act as if somehow 10’s whole relationship to trauma and other Doctors is a step forward in recovery, or worse just a stage of grief. He honestly starts off in a way better place materially and psychologically in the start and his symptoms increase over time not fade he never really process what was lost because the constant trauma doesn’t ever truly let up. I also don’t understand how all the losses in the story wouldn’t set back his processing of grief. It also flattens a loveable, broke, determined, scared, lonely, controlling, powerful loving, kind and layered character. He loses his way sometimes but is still a hero even with his missteps. Heroes who make mistakes are important. Characters whose arc isn't a liner step towards “better” but just surviving and living when the existence that won’t let him catch a break is beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Let me know!


	3. 11th Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: descriptions of dissociation & panic, mentions of suicide, discussions of war, murder

 

The Eleventh Doctor is a character that is the perfect representation of instability. He oscillates from generally childish, a cold force of nature and a chaotic man broken from anger and grief. It’s a compelling characterization because it gives some unpredictability in a show that can be formulaic. This doctor also is driven by a fear of abandonment and lack of attachment, probably because everyone Ten came to care for left him or got left behind him, this is shown in the 0 to 100-way Eleven acts within relationships. He is very alien and doesn’t do much to try and blend in a normal sense but does to cover up why he does thing still aching for acceptance. 

 

Eleven has the common doctor trait of just running so nothing can touch you and avoid staying still in a very extreme state for much of the run, up until he has no other choice. It's a large part of the character’s arc stopping long enough to make a difference. 

 

Lack a sense of internal identity/stable self-image and he uses the idea of The Doctor as a mask ( _TV: Eleventh Hour, TV: Victory of The Daleks, TV: The Wedding of River Song, TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship_ ). The Doctor references this phenomenon “ _Look, three options. One, I let the Star Whale continue in unendurable agony for hundreds more years. Two, I kill everyone on this ship. Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can. And then I find a new name because I won't be The Doctor any more._ ”( _TV: The Beast Below_ )

 

When introducing himself to Craige Eleven says;“ _I'm The Doctor. Well, they call me The Doctor. I don't know why. I call me The Doctor, too. Still don't know why._ ” we know that there are reasons, like his promise that he chooses to use this title Eleven feels a disconnection from the word ( _TV: The Lodger_ ) Being The Doctor is built on being that hero ( _TV: The God Complex)_

 

The construction of the identity is remarked upon in _TV: The Day of The Doctor,_ The Doctor itself is a construct they try and hold themselves to, the name is a “promise” a way they want to be. That promise was “ _Never cruel or cowardly. Never give up, never give in.”_  

 

Connects his identity and emotions to inanimate objects like his Bow Tie, Fez, and Sonic (TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Hungry Earth, TV: The Snowmen, TV: The Rings of Akhaten, TV: Hide)

 

Eleven also changes his affect and personality around other for example River. Amy points this out saying “ _You're letting people call you sir. You never do that” (TV: Time of Angels)_  

 

 

The Doctor hates himself to a large degree even when talking himself up periodically. His self-concept often comes as a very powerful view of a god-like entity. This view is based on actual action and the way others see him, it can cause a huge dissonance and adds to his feelings of responsibility to everyone. ( _TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang, TV: Day of the Moon, TV: The Wedding of River Song, TV: The Time of The Doctor & TV: The Day of The Doctor_)

 

When Elven, Amy and Rory get the psychic pollen in their brains The Doctor comments on the “dream Lord’; “ _No, no. No. Sorry, wasn't it obvious? The Dream Lord was me. Psychic pollen. It’s a mind parasite. It feeds on everything dark in you, gives it a voice, turns it against you. I'm nine hundred and seven. It had a lot to go on_.” Amy is disturbed by this idea because the dream lord was both the villain of the dream and openly insulted Eleven like saying “ _If you had any more tawdry quirks you could open up a Tawdry Quirk Shop. The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair, the clothes designed by a first-year fashion student. I'm surprised you haven't got a little purple space dog just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are. Where was I?_ ” ( _TV: Amy’s Choice_ ). 

 

In _TV: A Good Man Goes to War_ Eleven explicitly states he does not believe he is a good man. Eleven literally says “ _Oh no, no, no, no, no. Give me someone I like_.” referring to when the TARDIS offers a holo doctor as the voice interface. This shows he does not have a positive opinion of himself. 

 

In _TV: The God Complex_ Eleven speaks the Minotaurs last words “An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent, drifting in space through an endless, shifting maze. For such a creature, death would be a gift. Then accept it, and sleep well. I wasn't talking about myself.” Eleven doesn’t seem to disagree, is caught off guard but seems to hit home. While Eleven doesn’t actively want to die and does try and live, but we can see that there are times when this does fail. He does view himself as broken down.  

 

 The Doctor’s rules are used as a kind of system of maintaining the idea of the ‘Doctor’ and a way of coping with the wrongs he has done, and a shorthand of communication _(TV: The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood, &TV: Let’s Kill Hitler_) These rules are also used in his own mind to try and give moral guidelines as part of this identity maintenance and to try and not hurt others. We see this in the comment Eleven makes “ _Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.” (TV: A Good Man Goes to War)_

 

The Doctor has a lot of guilt in his life, he is willing to let himself die for others, his imposed isolation and his rules all reflect this. ( _TV: Amy’s Choice, Minisode: Night and The Doctor, TV: A Good Man Goes To War, Prequel to Let's Kill Hitler, TV: Let’s Kill Hitler, TV: The Girl Who Waited, TV: The God Complex, & TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Name of The Doctor, TV: The Time of The Doctor, & TV: The Day of The Doctor)_ We see this really explicitly when he has the chance to find more time lords in _TV: The Doctor's Wife_ and Amy reminds him what they thought he did to the others Eleven says “ _I can explain. Tell them why I had to_.” Amy then says “ _You want to be forgiven.” The Doctor then replies, “Don't we all?_ ”. In that same story, Eleven says “ _Another Ood I failed to save._ ” when the Ood dies, referencing his history of letting Ood die in fights like in _TV: The Satan Pit._

 

After seeing the effect his story has had on those around him and the way it hurt people he cares about we see him delete himself from history out of guilt. ( _Home Video: The Inforarium, TV: Asylum of The Daleks and TV: Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, & TV: The Nightmare in Silver_).

 

Guilt often leads to him raining in his outward shows of strength to not invoke more guilt or memories of things like his believed use of the moment. However, it’s not always the case when Karlah-Jax triggers his trauma the guilt manifests in hurting others. The Doctor justifies his actions with a combination of trauma-based guilt and his moral system saying: “ _But they keep coming back, don't you see? Every time I negotiate, I try to understand. Well, not today. No. Today, I honour the victims first. His, the Master's, the Dalek's, all the people who died because of my mercy!_ ” ( _TV: A Town Called Mercy_ ) 

 

In _TV: The Day of The Doctor_ we see how guilt is a huge diver of most of what they do throughout the show. Even to the point, the War Doctor wonders if without the guilt he would even become the same man that 10 and 11 are. However, it is important to note that using the moment isn’t the only guilt The Doctor carries. What he did to his companions is another one. Guilt and responsibility also drive a lot of the behaviour in _TV: The Time of The Doctor._  

 

Eleven has extreme difficulties with handling his impulsive behaviours _(TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone, TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Vampires of Venice, TV: Vincent and The Doctor, TV: The Curse of The Black Spot, TV: The Lodger, TV: The Doctor's Wife, Minisode: Space/Time. TV:Asylum of The Daleks, TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship, TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: The Rings of Akhaten, TV: Hide, TV: Journey To The Centre of The TARDIS, TV: The Name of The Doctor, TV: The Day of The Doctor_ ) His mind and thoughts get so ahead of himself he’ll do dumb things like baiting the armed people in the white house to shoot at him (T _V: The Impossible Astronaut_ ).

 

The Doctor has obsessive thoughts and behaviors connected with the impulse control and preoccupation with trauma ( _TV: Vincent and the Doctor,TV: The Wedding of River Song, TV: Closing Time, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Rings of Akhaten, TV: journey to the center of the TARDIS & TV: The Time of The Doctor_).

 

Puts himself in deadly and dangerous situations. Often a combination of hero complex and a lack of regard for his own well being in dangerous moments. (T _V: Victory of Daleks, TV: The Big Bang, TV: Let’s Kill Hitler, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: Hide, TV: Journey To The Center of The TARDIS_ )

 

This behaviour can become almost suicidal in nature taunting and getting to close other enemies. In _TV: Flesh and Stone_ he puts himself in more danger than necessary. One of his plans amounts to suicidal actions. We can see similar actions in _TV: The Rings of Akhaten, TV: Nightmare in Silver_  and _TV: Cold War_ where he is willing to kill everyone to save others. 

 

After seeing The Doctor die Amy, River and Rory discuss what the next thing they should do is. We get this dialogue: 

“ _Rory: We're not all going to arrange our own wake and invite ourselves. So, The Doctor, in the future, knowing he's going to die, recruits his younger self and all of us to, to what, exactly? Avenge him?_

_River: Uh-huh. Avenging's not his style._

_Amy: Save him._

_Rory: Yeah, that's not really his style either._ ” 

In this conversation, we see that they recognize that Eleven one doesn’t want his friends to act violently, and Rory also recognizes that The Doctor is willing to die for, whatever the astronaut was about. ( _TV: The Impossible Astronaut_ )

 

Has very strong and reactive emotional states. The emotional reactions are shown very visibly in his face, voice and actions. ( _TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Victory of The Daleks, TV: The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone, TV: The Beast Below, Minisode: Space/Time, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: A Good Man Goes To War, TV: Let’s Kill Hitler, TV: The God Complex, TV: Asylum of The Daleks, TV: Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, & TV: Journey To The Center of The TARDIS _) We also often see extreme rapid cycling emotions and affect ( _TV: Amy’s Choice, TV: The Pandorica Opens, The Rebel Flesh / The Almost People, TV: Closing Time, TV: The Doctor's Wife, & TV: The Rings of Akhaten)_

 

We see an example of this when Eleven is talking his effect going from slightly annoyed, excited and falls down to tired and then cold derision all in one paragraph length of speech “ _Home. Well, you two are. Off you pop and make babies. And you, Doctor Song, back to prison. And me? I'm late for a biplane lesson in 1911. Or it could be knitting. Knitting or biplanes. One or the other. What? A mysterious summons. You think I'm just going to go? Who sent those messages? I know you know. I can see it in your face. Don't play games with me. Don't ever, ever think you're capable of that._ “ ( _TV: The Impossible Astronaut_ )

 

In _TV: The Doctor's Wife_ we see an expression of cold and extreme anger. He slips in an expression of cruelty in the way he talks to the people who live on House threatening them and telling them to run. Ith the TARDIS they kill the house with only callous anger and disregard. We see a similar show _TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship_ when his anger at the lack of morality that Solomon shows and his treatment of the Silurians and Nefertiti he kills the man to save the others. He does this showing very little regret a combination of severe anger and his ability to shut down and dissociate from his emotions. 

 

Another act of his anger common out in an act of manipulative violence is the _TV: The Bells of Saint John_ by using the Base station to threaten to bring down and scare people into action and ends up using it. 

 

An extreme example of how strongly his anger can run is seen when he learns of the actions of Kahler-Jex. He comes back angry at the lies and feeling deeply upset at the lies. It escalates with Jax telling The Doctor he doesn’t understand when The Doctor absolutely understand what position Jax was in. All of this peaks and when Kahler-Jex references The Doctor’s own trauma and actions in his history of not only the Time War but the other actions he’s had to take, along with the all the death he blames on his inactions as well. It pushes him to the edge of violence yelling and acting out physically. However, unlike other examples of The Doctor being willing to hurt others to protect something and/or someone he loves this time it’s out of a trigger to the past, he loses control of the anger he feels. Jax asks The Doctor, “ _You wouldn’t_ ” and The Doctor replies “ _I Genuinely don’t know._ ” This shows that being so disconnected to the emotions his trauma brings makes this scene confuse him. ( _TV: A Town Called Mercy_ )

 

After Amy is captured Eleven shuts down his emotions, a strong emptiness comes over him which is different from Rory who has a level of desperation and love for Amy. Rory saying “ _Amy, can you hear me? We're coming for you. Wherever you are, we're coming, I swear.”_  

The Doctor answers; “ _She can't hear you. I'm so sorry. It's one way._ ”  

Rory replies “ _She can always hear me, Doctor. Always. Wherever she is, and she always knows that I am coming for her. Do you understand me? Always._ ” (TV: The Day of The Moon)

 

The Emotional shutdown can even form a block in his empathy, much like rage he sometimes swings the other way trying to not feel, _TV: The Snowmen_ , but being unable to manage these he often starts lashing out to others by trying to act on feelings. 

 

In _TV: A Good Man Goes To War_ when Vastra points out he is seen as a weapon his emotions go from sadness to an episode of dissociation. We can see this as he loses the ability to register what the others are saying and has to be brought out of it. A similar event can be seen after an anger outburst and discussions truly close to his traumatic history his friends have with Kahler-Jax. Eleven goes almost blank facially and folds into himself emotional;y and physically. He isolates himself by stepping away and he completely loses the thread of the events around him. We see this when he says “ _Hmm? Yes. I don't know. Whatever Amy said._ ” It also melds with his wildly changing emotions as he flies into anger right after this. ( _TV: A Town Called Mercy_ ). We also see dissociation in _TV: The Girl Who Waited, The Time of Angels / Flesh and Stone & TV: The Snowmen_

 

We can see a physical manifestation in the way The Doctor physically acts as well. When he experiences dissociation and/or emotional shutdowns he curled into himself. ( _TV: The Day of The Moon, TVL The Girl Who Waited, TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: The Snowmen, & TV: Journey to The Center of The TARDIS_ ). 

 

We can see another physical manifestation of the disconnection he feels from himself and the dissociation he has with his table identity when he gets dressed without his own knowledge, Seen in this exchange

 

_The Doctors: “No, you didn't, because I don't. Because this isn't the sort of thing I do any more. Next time you're in trouble, don't expect me to”_

_(The Doctor is distracted by his reflection in a mirror.)_

_Clara “What is it? What's wrong?”_

_The Doctor: Sorry, it's just. Didn't know I'd put it on._  ( _TV: The Snowmen_ )

 

Memory gaps are also seen in _TV: Hide_ when he doesn’t even know what’s in the console room and _TV: The Day of The Doctor_ as he has lost track of his own age and timeline [Not remembering the events with the moment doesn't count] Also seen in TV: The Lodger

 

His emotions and trauma can bring Eleven to the point of pretty dramatic outbursts. When the Daleks are seen for the first time by Eleven expresses an episode of range attacks the Dalek with a wrench ( _TV: Victory of The Daleks_ ) Fear and Anger lead to a panic and rage episode including throwing things around and losing focus (TV: Flesh and Stone). We see these trauma, guilt and anger based breakdowns screaming and pushing others away, saying “ _Nobody talk to me. Nobody human has anything to say to me today!_ ” ( _TV: The Beast Below_ ). We see a physical breakdown again in _TV: The God Complex and TV: The Angels Take Manhattan._

 

A trauma-induced Panic Attack can be seen in _TV: Asylum of the Daleks_. He shows all the physical attributes and calls out for help a very uncharacteristic way of reacting showing a more heightened fear response. After this reminder of his trauma during the war, we see him struggle to return to the normal emotional level struggling to show compassion he normally has for human hurt by the Daleks reacting with rage at the Dalek shell that Oswin is trapped into. And panics again when she starts to move. 

 

In T _V: Nightmare in Silver_ just seeing a Cyberman he goes into protect mode his easily triggered survival and protective manner. 

 

Show and off and is very dramatic to project the appearance he wants and hid a lot under it( _TV: The Eleventh Hour, Minisode: Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2, TV: The Vampires of Venice, TV: The Big Bang, TV: The Doctor The Widow and The Wardrobe, TV: Day of The Moon, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: Let’s Kill Hitler, TV: A Christmas Carol, TV: The Wedding of River Song TV: The Asylum of The Daleks, TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV:The Snowmen, TV: The Bells of Saint John,TV: Journey to The Center of The TARDIS, & TV: The Day of The Doctor _). 

 

Often done to people he wants to like him like Amy, saying: “ _A forest in a bottle on a spaceship in a maze. Have I impressed you yet, Amy Pond?”(TV: Flesh and Stone_ ) When Eleven finds himself in the oval office he goes on a rant, flaunt his intelligence and sits in the president's chair. Enjoying Putting on a show for his friends as well it works to refocus control and attention to him. ( _TV: The Impossible Astronaut_ )

 

In _TV: A Good Man Goes To War_ we see a huge example of this. It is a combination of the way using confusion and manipulation is The Doctor's signature method of fighting enemies but it also is a way he enjoys getting positive and negative attention. 

 

Amy Pond is His favourite person and they both have a codependent relationship to a very high degree. Both being a defining part of the others life. Eleven while not really wanting a romantic relationship with Amy still experiences worry around Amy wanting to leave him some jealousy with Rory ( _TV: The Vampires of Venice_ ) Is deeply protective over Amy even when he does bring in to dangerous situations ( _TV: The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone, TV: Victory of The Daleks, TV: Vincent and The Doctor, & TV: The Pandorica Opens_). Eleven struggles to attach healthy to others wanting this full 100% or 0% love (T _V: The Eleventh Hour. TV: The God Complex, & TV: The Power of Three_)

 

We this complete or zero attachment in action again in _TV: The Snowmen_ with Clara. Going from a lockout of people in general to trying to make her come with him and feeling a deep connection in the matter of a day. Even when he doesn’t trust River Song yet he becomes jealous when she gives attention to others like saying “ _What? You two engaged or something?_ ” when the father follows her around ( _TV: Flesh and Stone_ )

 

His extreme connection to his companions magnifies his own grief tenfold causing pretty deep reactions when losing his FP in the form of Amy. ( _TV: The Angels Take Manhattan & The Snowmen_). His general problems with attachment magnify grief and loss in general, he struggles to form normal relationships and has deep abandonment issues that we see starting a few doctors back. This is further compounded by his long lifespan meaning he can see the way people are eventually going to lose them. In _TV: The Power of Three_ he explains the way he knows loss is coming and tries to lose it, but when hitting this realization hard on he actually attempts to severe the bond before getting really hurt but that doesn’t work. He then pushes everyone again when the loss does it. ( _TV: The Snowmen_ ). Clara points out that she is competing with a ghost in _TV: The Rings of Akhaten_ , which while he rebuffs this she was actually right, one because he only picked her up based on a past loss but also because for a very long time the companions are competing with the ghost of past loss as it informs how protective and guilty The Doctor is with everyone. 

 

This struggle with grief can also be seen in _TV: The Time of The Doctor_ when The Doctor as he sends Clara away to not deal with losing her even though that isn’t what she wants. 

 

Likes to be in control of everything to feel like he can manage a world that constantly throws pain and disorder. _(TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Vampires of Venice, TV: The Hungry Earth/Cold Earth, TV: The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The_ _Curse of the Black Spot, TV: The Crimson Horror, TV: Nightmare in Silver, TV: Cold War, & TV: The Name of The Doctor ) _

 

Eleven takes control no matter who is around them, up to and including the president of the united states ( _TV: The Impossible Astronaut/Day of The Moon_ ). There is also often the need to try and protect people, though this often bothers the people as it takes their choice from them. _(TV: A Christmas Carol, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: The God Complex, TV: Asylum of The Daleks, & TV: Name of The Doctor_). 

 

In _Prose: Touched By an Angel_ Eleven comments that Rory is " _disconcertingly full of surprises_ " when he alters the plans Eleven is trying to work through. In _TV: The Snowmen_ we see another example of his control issues verbalized by Eleven when Clara attempts to lead him saying “ _No, I do the hand grabbing. That's my job. That's always me!_ ”, a telling example of the way Clara not listening even more than normal. 

 

In _TV: The Time of The Doctor The Doctor_ takes control of not just the battle but ends up essentially running the entire planet, based on a hero/god complex along with his warranted feeling of responsibility. In _TV:Day of The Doctor_ we see this control and god complex in an extreme form as they feel a responsibility to save the entire universe, it’s also connected to guilt born from trauma The Doctor experienced throughout the time war even before the use of the moment, as the War Doctor feels the same responsibility/god complex. 

 

Eleven tries to control the entire situation of the adventures and the situations around those he loves. It’s not trying to really hurt them, and often works but he still wants to try and make everything work right. ( _TV: The God Complex, TV: Asylum of The Daleks, TV: The Crimson Horror_ )

 

 We see an example of this also _TV: The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People_ in the way he doesn’t tell people what he’s doing so no one interferes with his plans, even willing to lie to people by omission and right out no telling Amy which doctor is made of Flesh and which is the Time Lord. Similar to this situation in _TV: Journey to The Center of The TARDIS_ The Doctor manipulates the salvage crew withholding information, using intimidation and his superior understanding of the TARDIS to get what he wants so he can save Clara. The Doctor also lies to Clara here and scares her once he does lose that control, the lies and information he had been hiding for long can’t keep in under stress. 

 

Lacks any ability to trust almost anybody ( _TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Time of_

_Angels/Flesh and Stone, TV: The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People, & TV: Journey to The Center of The TARDIS_) TV: The Impossible Astronaut gives us to rather good examples of this, the person he trusts number one is himself over anyone who has been with him over time. Also when talking to River he says “ _Trust you? Sure. But, first of all, Doctor Song, just one thing. Who are you? You're someone from my future. Getting that. But who? Okay. Why are you in prison? Who did you kill, hmm? Now, I love a bad girl, me, but trust you? Seriously_.” a cruel statement of his trust issues, and acts as a way to push her away and keep at arm's length even when he does enjoy her company. 

 

The Doctor struggles to understand and communicate ideas and emotions. Forming new relationships are hard for him his ability for healthy attachments in non-existent. We see this with Rory a lot. Rory doesn’t quickly fall in line with The Doctors normal way of functioning. Eleven doesn't have a good ability to communicate their issues. This makes relationships pretty volatile with River, Amy and Clara even when they are what he loves most 

 

Experiences splitting mostly with River Goes back and forth being very flirty and then pushing River away ( _TV: Flesh and Stone, TV: A Good Man Goes to War, & TV: The Day of The Moon_)

 

 

Eleven avoids talking about trauma trying to not remember or discuss it while it also clearly affects everything he does ( _TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: A Good Man Goes To War, TV: Day of The Doctor, TV: The Snowmen, TV: Hide TV: The Name of The Doctor, TV: The Day of The Doctor & The Time of The Doctor_) Distraction used as a coping mechanism ( _TV: Amy’s Choice, TV: The hungry Earth_ ) When he does talk about it he struggles to then stop ( _TV: The Rings of Akhaten, TV: The Day of The Doctor_ ).

 

The Doctor isn’t in touch with his emotions ( _TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV: The Doctor The Widow and The Wardrobe, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: The Snowmen, & TV: The Bells of Saint John_) in _TV: A Good Man Goes To War_ he comments Oh, look, I'm angry. That's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.” However, The Doctor often shows anger to the point of outbursts of violence. This shows a profound disconnect from his own emotional state. 

 

Eleven like the previous incarnations is deeply lonely and feels like he is alone and disconnected ( _TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Doctor The Widow and The Wardrobe, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: Night Terrors TV: The Bells of Saint John_ ) We see this in his trying to connect with the Krafayis “ _Well, no harm trying. Listen. Listen! I know you can understand me, even though I know you won't understand why you can understand me. I also know that no one's talked to you for a pretty long stretch, but please, listen. I also don't belong on this planet. I also am alone. If you trust me, I'm sure we can come to some kind of, you know, understanding. And then, and then, who knows?_ ” ( _TV: Vincent and The Doctor)_  

 

The most extreme example of this is of course seen in _TV: The Snowmen_ where for what is implied to be years The Doctor isolates himself from almost everyone and stops trying to help others. 

 

The Doctor experiences hypervigilance and general hyperarousal symptoms about him always on edge and looking for danger. It also causes him trouble staying still and enjoying any calm ( _TV: Amy’s Choice, Minisode: Night and The Doctor, TV: The Hungry Earth / Cold Blood, TV: The Lodger, TV: The Impossible Astronaut, TV: Closing Time, TV: Asylum of The Daleks, TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship, TV: Closing Time TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: The Bells of Saint John, TV: The Rings of Akhaten, & TV Nightmare in Silve_r)  

 

We see this in his conversation with Amy Saying; “ _Oh, lovely. You're a cheery one. Never mind dead, look at this place. Isn't it wrong?_ ” Amy is confused by this “ _What's wrong?_ ” Elven seems genuinely surprised that she doesn’t see what is happening the way he can “ _Come on, use your eyes. Notice everything. What's wrong with this picture?_ ” ( _TV: The Beast Below_ ) 

 

Even when in a calm environment like a museum The Doctor is on the lookout. When viewing Van Gogh art he stops to investigate danger having noticed it everywhere “Yes. And not a nice face at all. I know evil when I see it and I see it in that window. “ (TV: Vincent and The Doctor)

 

The Doctor deals with catastrophization ( _TV: The Beast Below, TV: Vincent and The Doctor, TV: The Curse of The Black Spot & Prequels: Prequel to The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe_) The Doctor also struggles to view the world with an active hope more using it an idea to focus his thoughts, it takes extreme emotions to push through that, and not much to bring it all crashing down. (T _V: The Doctor The Widow in the Wardrobe, Minisode: Meanwhile in The TARDIS, & TV: The Angels Take Manhattan_)

 

Other people tend to understand and see his erratic behaviour. In _TV: The Time of Angles_. Father Octavian asked River 

“ _Doctor Song, I've lost good Clerics today. You trust this man?_ “ 

She replies “ _I absolutely trust him._ ” Octavian asks 

“ _He's not some kind of madman, then?_ ” 

All River does is repeat “ _I absolutely trust him”_. 

 

A comment on the very noticeable erratic behaviour and presentation of his feelings and dysregulation, his own friends who trust him can’t even pretend he isn’t like that. Clara makes a similar comment in _TV: Nightmare in Silver._

 

Multiple times people who knows him warn against getting to the emotional breaking point. In _TV: The Doctor's Wife_  Amy says “Don't get emotional because that's when you make a mistake” In _TV: Forest of The Dead_ River warns Ten against it when he generally has a slightly higher boiling point to Eleven to experience full emotional breakdowns. 

 

Rory finds The Doctor to be dangerous in his ability to be magnetic and the way his own recklessness plays of each other. ( _TV: The Vampires of Venice_ )

 

The Doctor’s interactions with Van Gogh is really interesting we see to a large instance I think he understands what he is going through but trying to use his own coping mechanisms on Van Gogh proves to not be very effective. He tries to make Van Gogh focus on the task at hand, ignore people calling him crazy don’t think about the pain. But of course, this doesn’t work for Van Gogh who has slightly different problems than The Doctor and also can’t function on denial. 

 

We also see his difficulty with communication here talking about his or others feelings being a struggle. He does try and offer kindness with mentioning hope, and then lets Van Gogh he will be remembered kindly a truly kind act. Eleven is also distinctly less surprised than Amy that one kind day can not make someone not struggle with suicidal thoughts, something I think comes from both his knowledge of time travel but personal experience with mental illness. ( _TV: Vincent and The Doctor_ )

 

In _TV: Hide_ we see Emma Grayling being able to read The Doctor because she is an empath, this ability makes her distrustful of The Doctor overall but also works with him because she can tell he does want to save people. Emma warns Clara about the fact the Doctor’s history has left him deeply damaged she says“Don't trust him. There's a sliver of ice in his heart.” Professor Alec Palmer also reads The Doctor in this same episode, he can tell the Doctor has seen traumatic events of war and death just like he as. They are similar people and they can see it in each other. 

 

Eleven has become so used to the chaos and violence that he cannot change and disconnect ( _Minisode: Night and The Doctor, TV: The Lodger, & TV: The Cold War_). Adventure and violence are the only way he knows how to function, also I sort of an addiction to chaos. ( _TV: Amy’s Choice, TV: Dinosaurs On A Spaceship, TV: The Power of Three, & TV: A Town Called Mercy_) 

 

We see The Doctor has a breakdown in being able to enjoy a normal life and things, even some of the less violent of the things in space like stars or general life ( _Minisode: Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2_ )

 

While The Doctor is addicted to violence he has a deep moral problem with the concept of war and hurting other creatures. The Doctor also tries to ensure that other people don’t have to live in the war as he did. It is hypocritical as The Doctor will cause harm for the greater good. However, opposition to war is as much a part of the identity as a moral concept. This hatred of war actually dates back to the early doctors and carried through till this point, now with the layers of trauma and having continuously broken the morals himself. ( _TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Hungry Earth / Cold Blood, TV: The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People, TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship, TV: A Town Called Mercy, & TV: Nightmare in Silver_)

 

Other soldiers and actors of violence can always read this past in The Doctor ( _TV: Hide, TV: Nightmare in Silver, & TV: The Name of The Doctor)_. This is seen in TV: Cold War when the other soldiers can see that The Doctor understands the battle, River also comments on this in TV: Let’s kill Hitler as she was taught that he understood “all forms of war.'' He is confronted with the way he’s been acting as a violent force when he learns the Gamma forest uses the doctor as the war for a warrior ( _TV: A Good Man Goes to War)_. 

 

_TV: The Day of The Doctor_ shows us this understanding of battles and violent politics, and how much this is splitting to his character as The War Doctor refuses to even call himself The Doctor. It shows how much he understands about war. This carries into _TV: The Time of The Doctor_ where he can wage a hundred years of war and win. 

 

Insomnia: ( _TV: The Lodger, Minisode: Night and The Doctor, TV: The Bells of Saint John_ )

 

Disordered eating: ( _TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Time of The Doctor)_

Eleven is a character built on contradictions bu as highly magnetic as the other doctors. His arc is similar to 9s in being bittersweet, he dies with those he loves having saved people but is also sad because his last days were spent in war when that’s the last thing he wanted to do, they were also tainted by feelings of guilt for his part in what happened. He changes some over time in relation to loss but has less profound shifts than many other New Who doctors. 


End file.
